“The cords of death encompassed me; the torrents of destruction assailed me; the cords of Sheol entangled me; the snares of death confronted me……. He sent from on high, he took me; he drew me out of many waters. He rescued me from my strong enemy and from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me.” Psalm 18:4-5, 16-19.

I always loved the Psalms of the Bible, because they were written by a man, David, who suffered from anxiety and depression. He was always able to fight his way through it with God and find his way back to sanity, but the thing I always loved most was that he wasn’t afraid to admit his struggles!!! If you ever read about the life of David the dude went through a LOT of crap! Yet he still had faith and still found a way to find the joy in things, even in his own despair.

In a few weeks I will talk more about King David and the psalms and give you guys a little glimpse into how his story can help so many suffering with mental illness, even if you don’t believe in God or the bible, I think his story can still help.

But for now lets turn our eyes to the reality of a really difficult mental illness we call…..

Depression

According to adaa.org they describe depression as

“Feeling discouraged, sad, hopeless, unmotivated, or disinterested in life in general for more than two weeks and when feelings interfere with daily activities.”

From the healthline.com website they state that Depression affects 5% of the world population. That’s 350 million people worldwide. At least 16 million US adults had at least one major depressive episode in 2012. That’s 6.9% of the US population.

According to the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (dbsalliance.org) depression accounts for $12 billion in lost work days every year!!

But what about the children?

Even though depression is treatable with therapy and medications, 60% of children with diagnosable depression are not being treated. (source: adaa.org)

1 in 33 children and 1 in 8 teens have clinical depression. (source: dbsalliance.org) Often times depression is seen in youth who experience significant trauma early on in life.

My Story

Okay its story time. I’m going to give you a brief glimpse into the darkest year of my life.

In 2009 my depression was the worst it had ever been. Most days it felt  like I was floating, watching myself go through the motions of waking up, going to work/school, and coming home. It was as if I was merely a ghost and couldn’t even feel myself actually consciously going through the motions, unaware of my surroundings. I was merely numb, done with this life. I was sick and tired of caring so damn much and wondering if anyone even cared about me.

One day I decided that was it, it was all about to end. As I sat at the stop sign of the intersection near my house, a busy cross street in front of me, I started moving my foot from the brake to the gas pedal, ready to drive out in front of the cars crossing my path. i wanted to do it with every fiber of my being! But suddenly I was paralyzed! I sat in that car and I screamed at the top of my lungs trying to move my foot, my arms, my fingers, anything!!! But nothing happened…..

Next thing I remember is finding myself across the street safely parked on the side of the street. I sat there and cried and cried. My plan had failed, I was a failure, I couldn’t even kill myself. What had stopped me? Why did my body freeze even though I knew beyond a shadow of doubt it was what I wanted to do?

Then a still small voice/feeling alighted inside of my heart. It said, “Enough! I have greater plans for your life. This is not where it ends. I need you to live in order to fulfill your purpose.” And as God spoke to me it was like a lightbulb went on. I knew right then that I was sick and I needed to get better.

But when you’re sick you need a doctor. So I started seeing a counselor at my church, and then I saw a professional therapist, and over the next year I sat in a chair once a week and dug deep inside of myself and found my way towards healing.

What do we do?

Well I have some GREAT news!!! Depression is treatable!! There are many different forms of treatment, and since everyone is a unique individual, they need to find what works for them. Some find that medication is necessary, whereas others have found success from therapy alone. You just need to find what works for you.

But you can’t be treated unless you find help! So I encourage you to seek help wherever you can if you feel you may be suffering from Depression.

I am not 100% better, I still have bad days, but my quality of life is SO much better than it ever was! And those suicidal thoughts have disappeared!! Through therapy and through my relationship with Jesus, I have found my worth and my purpose in life! And you can too!

But how do I know if I, or someone I love, has depression?

I will go in more details about the signs and symptoms to look out for in another blog, but here are some simple starting points:

• Irritability, rational or irrational
• Feelings of sadness that are persistent or last more than two weeks
• Disturbances in sleep patterns: insomnia, oversleeping, fatigue
• Decreased ability to enjoy things you used to love
• Eating too much or Eating too little

These can be signs or symptoms of other things besides depression as well, so it is always good to seek out the advice of a healthcare professional. A general physician would be a great starting point to talk to about your symptoms. I would again like to stress that I am not a professional, and encourage you to seek out an expert opinion.

The end of the rainbow

There is a pot of gold waiting for you at the end of the rainbow. There is a chance and a hope for JOY! I encourage you to take that first scary step towards healing and talk to someone about how you feel and they can help you find the right treatment for you to find healing!